The writer observes and presents many of the most salient points of the short poem, but she could indeed organize the explication more coherently. To improve this explication, the writer could focus more on the speaker’s state of mind. In this way, the writer could explore the implications of the dramatic situation even further: why does the speaker ask a question of a mute object? With this line of thought, the writer could also examine more closely the speaker’s movement from perplexity (I am trapped but the waters are free) to a kind of resolution (the fountain and the sea are as trapped as I am). Finally, the writer could include a more detailed consideration of rhythm, meter, and rhyme.
Three years ago I published my first fiction, The Silver Cord . I worked on it for 11 years! At 464 oversized pages, this huge book was fan-funded, the result of a successful Kickstarter-funded campaign. It is now available on Amazon . The Silver Cord contains two volumes of an epic story about angels and robots and a girl hero who must save the humans in between. The craftsmanship of the printing, including a 6-page fold out, is stunning. It has to be seen to be believed. If you like the graphic novel let me know, and we’ll do the next story.
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